it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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