I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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