He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Randomize
