bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You're so nebulous sometimes
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
