yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
