We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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