Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
