Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
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Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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