is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
