Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
