:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
