This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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