so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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