I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
