A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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