i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
why is half of my head shaved?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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