it wasn't lemon gatorade
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
