A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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