He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
