no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
