I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize