I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
