im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The power of my boobs compel you
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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