No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
