Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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