idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
