I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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