covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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