Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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