wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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