her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
