Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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