I murdered the dance floor call the cops
its not stalking. its research.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
