There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
