so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How external is "for external use only"?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
