i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
