When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
