connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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