I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
