I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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