You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
