Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
