Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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