well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
so much tequila, so little girl.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
