okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
