There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
