She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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