YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
