around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
