The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
