you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
