Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
