I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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