used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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