the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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