If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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