Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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