Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
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