So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
