U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
