the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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