i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
