I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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