If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
