went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Is it because I queefed?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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