Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This is classic penis vs brain.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
