dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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